克里斯提昂‧德‧謝傑神父的遺囑
（一九九六年五月廿六日聖神降臨節開封）
面對永別時…
阿爾及利亞境內所有的外國人正面臨著恐怖份子的威脅，
隨時都可能成為他們手下無辜的犧牲者。
如果有一天（很可能就是今天），我是其中之一，
我希望我的修會、我的教會、和我的家人們記住：
我的生命是奉獻給天主和阿爾及利亞這個國家的。
我請諸位接受一個事實，即所有生命的唯一之主
也是被殘酷迫害致死的。
我請求諸位為我祈禱：
因為我怎當得起如此的祭獻？
並請各位把我的死亡與其他類似的被忽略的
無名暴力死亡聯想在一起。
我的生命價值不比他們的多，
也不比他們的少。
無論如何，我一生的歲月並不是天真無邪的童年。
罪惡在世上極度盛行，
而我已活得夠久知道自己是罪惡的共謀，
在邪惡中我甚至盲目地被擊倒。
當死亡的時刻到來時，我希望我的心靈能有片刻的清明，
可以讓我祈求天主
和同胞們的寬恕，
同時真心誠意地原諒那位置我於死的人。
我必須強調
我並不希望這種死法。
事實上，我怎能感到心安
如果我所愛的人在我死後任意地指控這件謀殺案。
不論是哪一位阿爾及利亞人，
尤其若他說他參與這暴力事件是忠於他的伊斯蘭信仰，
這對或許被稱為「殉道的恩寵」
仍是太高而無法擔待的代價。
我留意到對阿爾及利亞人的藐視和輕蔑排山倒海而來。
也相信對伊斯蘭教的諷刺報導在某種程度上是助長了伊斯蘭教的激進保守派。
把這種宗教行為認同為極端基要主義的意識形態上，
是草率地平撫自己的良心。
我自覺是來自天主的默感，使我有這樣一個概念，也經常不斷地宣揚這個概念，那就是：
對我而言，阿爾及利亞和伊斯蘭教是不相同的：一個是人體，一個是人靈。
在我母親膝前（我的第一個教會）我所學到的，
並真的也常常發現有《福音》的線索
就在阿爾及利亞這個國家，我因此而被啟發去尊重伊斯蘭教的信徒們。
顯而易見的，我的死亡
對輕率斷定我幼稚或理想主義者的人們來說，更是一個肯定，
他們會說：「現在請他告訴我們，對他這不實際的理想他怎麼說！」
但這些人應該知道，我最狂熱的好奇心終於得到解脫。
我願按天主的旨意：
將我的凝視沉浸在天父的眼光中，
和祂一起凝視默觀祂伊斯蘭教的子女們，
正如祂看他們，所有的人均因基督的光榮而發光，
並擁有基督苦難的美果，和充滿聖神的禮物；
天主暗地裡的喜樂在於人類還原我們來自天主的肖像——我們的相同，並欣賞包容我們的差異，
而建立起親密的共融。
為這失去的生命，完全是我的也是他們的，
我感謝天主！似乎祂的旨意如此，
完全是為了那在每件事中的喜樂緣故，且不顧一切。
這感恩感謝不但是為我生命此時起的總總，
也當然含括你們——過去和今天的朋友們，
還有你們——阿爾及利亞的朋友們，
及我的母親、父親、姐妹們、兄弟們暨他們的家庭，
你們必如天主所應允的得到百倍的報償！
還有你——我最後一分鐘的朋友，也許你仍不知道自己在做甚麼：
是的，我也要這個感恩感謝和這個再見都成為天主賜給你的恩寵，
因為在天主的肖像中，我看到你的臉。
如果這是天主——我們彼此的天父——所樂意的，願我們再度相逢一如天堂樂園中快樂的義賊們。
一九九三年十二月一日於阿爾及爾[2]
克里斯提昂+
[1]
INCH'ALLAH (insha
Allah)：阿拉伯語，是伊斯蘭信徒(穆斯林)常用的話語，意思是：上述所提到的事情希望將來能夠實現，英譯God
willing 或If is God’s will天主旨意。資料取自http://www.answers.com/topic/insha-allah。
[3]堤比鄰熙篤修院所在地。INCH'ALLAH (insha Allah)：阿拉伯語，是伊斯蘭信徒(穆斯林)常用的話語，意思是：上述所提到的事情希望將來能夠實現，英譯God willing 或If is God’s will天主旨意。資料取自http://www.answers.com/topic/insha-allah。
[3]阿爾及爾是阿爾及利亞的首都。
[3]堤比鄰熙篤修院所在地
Testament of Dom Christian de Chergé
(opened on Pentecost Sunday, May 26, 1996)
Facing a GOODBYE....
If it should happen one day - and it could be today -
that I become a victim of the terrorism which now seems ready to engulf
all the foreigners living in Algeria,
I would like my community, my Church and my family
to remember that my life was GIVEN to God and to this country.
I ask them to accept the fact that the One Master of all life
was not a stranger to this brutal departure.
I would ask them to pray for me:
for how could I be found worthy of such an offering?
I ask them to associate this death with so many other equally violent ones
which are forgotten through indifference or anonymity.
My life has no more value than any other.
Nor any less value.
In any case, it has not the innocence of childhood.
I have lived long enough to know that I am an accomplice in the evil
which seems to prevail so terribly in the world,
even in the evil which might blindly strike me down.
I should like, when the time comes, to have a moment of spiritual clarity
which would allow me to beg forgiveness of God
and of my fellow human beings,
and at the same time forgive with all my heart the one who would strike me down.
I could not desire such a death.
It seems to me important to state this.
I do not see, in fact, how I could rejoice
if the people I love were indiscriminately accused of my murder.
It would be too high a price to pay
for what will perhaps be called, the "grace of martyrdom"
to owe it to an Algerian, whoever he might be,
especially if he says he is acting in fidelity to what he believes to be Islam.
I am aware of the scorn which can be heaped on the Algerians indiscriminately.
I am also aware of the caricatures of Islam which a certain Islamism fosters.
It is too easy to soothe one's conscience
by identifying this religious way with the fundamentalist ideology of its extremists.
For me, Algeria and Islam are something different: it is a body and a soul.
I have proclaimed this often enough, I think, in the light of what I have received from it.
I so often find there that true strand of the Gospel
which I learned at my mother's knee, my very first Church,
precisely in Algeria, and already inspired with respect for Muslim believers.
Obviously, my death will appear to confirm
those who hastily judged me naïve or idealistic:
"Let him tell us now what he thinks of his ideals!"
But these persons should know that finally my most avid curiosity will be set free.
This is what I shall be able to do, God willing:
immerse my gaze in that of the Father
to contemplate with him His children of Islam
just as He sees them, all shining with the glory of Christ,
the fruit of His Passion, filled with the Gift of the Spirit
whose secret joy will always be to establish communion
and restore the likeness, playing with the differences.
For this life lost, totally mine and totally theirs,
I thank God, who seems to have willed it entirely
for the sake of that JOY in everything and in spite of everything.
In this THANK YOU, which is said for everything in my life from now on,
I certainly include you, friends of yesterday and today,
and you, my friends of this place,
along with my mother and father, my sisters and brothers and their families,
You are the hundredfold granted as was promised!
And also you, my last-minute friend, who will not have known what you were doing:
Yes, I want this THANK YOU and this GOODBYE to be a "GOD-BLESS" for you, too,
because in God's face I see yours.
May we meet again as happy thieves in Paradise, if it please God, the Father of us both.
(opened on Pentecost Sunday, May 26, 1996)
Facing a GOODBYE....
If it should happen one day - and it could be today -
that I become a victim of the terrorism which now seems ready to engulf
all the foreigners living in Algeria,
I would like my community, my Church and my family
to remember that my life was GIVEN to God and to this country.
I ask them to accept the fact that the One Master of all life
was not a stranger to this brutal departure.
I would ask them to pray for me:
for how could I be found worthy of such an offering?
I ask them to associate this death with so many other equally violent ones
which are forgotten through indifference or anonymity.
My life has no more value than any other.
Nor any less value.
In any case, it has not the innocence of childhood.
I have lived long enough to know that I am an accomplice in the evil
which seems to prevail so terribly in the world,
even in the evil which might blindly strike me down.
I should like, when the time comes, to have a moment of spiritual clarity
which would allow me to beg forgiveness of God
and of my fellow human beings,
and at the same time forgive with all my heart the one who would strike me down.
I could not desire such a death.
It seems to me important to state this.
I do not see, in fact, how I could rejoice
if the people I love were indiscriminately accused of my murder.
It would be too high a price to pay
for what will perhaps be called, the "grace of martyrdom"
to owe it to an Algerian, whoever he might be,
especially if he says he is acting in fidelity to what he believes to be Islam.
I am aware of the scorn which can be heaped on the Algerians indiscriminately.
I am also aware of the caricatures of Islam which a certain Islamism fosters.
It is too easy to soothe one's conscience
by identifying this religious way with the fundamentalist ideology of its extremists.
For me, Algeria and Islam are something different: it is a body and a soul.
I have proclaimed this often enough, I think, in the light of what I have received from it.
I so often find there that true strand of the Gospel
which I learned at my mother's knee, my very first Church,
precisely in Algeria, and already inspired with respect for Muslim believers.
Obviously, my death will appear to confirm
those who hastily judged me naïve or idealistic:
"Let him tell us now what he thinks of his ideals!"
But these persons should know that finally my most avid curiosity will be set free.
This is what I shall be able to do, God willing:
immerse my gaze in that of the Father
to contemplate with him His children of Islam
just as He sees them, all shining with the glory of Christ,
the fruit of His Passion, filled with the Gift of the Spirit
whose secret joy will always be to establish communion
and restore the likeness, playing with the differences.
For this life lost, totally mine and totally theirs,
I thank God, who seems to have willed it entirely
for the sake of that JOY in everything and in spite of everything.
In this THANK YOU, which is said for everything in my life from now on,
I certainly include you, friends of yesterday and today,
and you, my friends of this place,
along with my mother and father, my sisters and brothers and their families,
You are the hundredfold granted as was promised!
And also you, my last-minute friend, who will not have known what you were doing:
Yes, I want this THANK YOU and this GOODBYE to be a "GOD-BLESS" for you, too,
because in God's face I see yours.
May we meet again as happy thieves in Paradise, if it please God, the Father of us both.
AMEN ! INCHALLAH !
Algiers, 1st December 1993
Tibhirine, 1st January 1994 Christian +
Algiers, 1st December 1993
Tibhirine, 1st January 1994 Christian +
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